The holidays have been super busy, and I have decided to keep you all updated on what’s been happening in my life.
I am currently on a social media/slash phone break. I realized instead of spending time with family, I was just making it LOOK like I was spending time with my family. I woke up one day and thought to myself, why the hell am I not really living life? Yes, I can take pictures but why do I need societies approval of what I’m doing every second of my life? Why do I feel like I have to share all of the best moments with thousands of strangers? Why can’t I cherish moments as they come? Why do I feel like I can’t connect with people in person?
Before now, I was never really allowed to take breaks from social media even though it’s mentally necessary sometimes. I realized, that right there should have been a deal breaker, instead of encouraging me to go against social norms my ex made it seem like it was a weird, and unhealthy thing to stop being on social media.
If I wasn’t on Facebook, Snapchat or Instagram, he would tell me I fell off the grid, or I was out doing shady shit, and in reality, I’m not that type of person at all he just never bothered to get to know me. He created a version of me in his head, and that was his truth of me, the truth he saw on those social media platforms. It was wrong, he was wrong about me, and I have decided to take a break by deactivating all my social media accounts. This has helped me find a better truth about myself that I really don’t need to prove to anyone else. In return this has helped REAL people in my everyday life get to know me. Instead of checking what I did today on Instagram they are forced to ask me how my day was.
It has been about a week of deleting everything, I still have Snapchat to talk to friends and family, and I have a home phone I have been using, and dang the whole thing is liberating. I have saved my time and money by doing this. I won’t have a phone bill for January, I have stopped talking and having utterly meaningless conversations with people, and more importantly, I have stopped comparing myself to unhealthy expectations of life.
I am currently seeing a man and getting to know him for him instead of checking everything he has ever posted, seeing every place he has ever been; instead, I am asking questions because this time I actually don’t know the answers. I have found that he is one of the most beautiful people I have ever met, and instead of “proving it” through social media, he shows it in person. At first this idea was totally odd and uncomfortable. Instead of me already knowing the answers about his day, I have to ask him questions, I get his real version of the day, there are no silly miscommunications over messages because we are talking. I can hear his voice, see his eyes, and I see him for him not for whatever he portrays on social media.
Every night I would get on my phone and compare myself to thinner ladies wishing I could be them, looking at their outfits that would never fit me, a beauty routine I could never afford, and a life I just could not live. I was living in a different world and sabotaging my own life without even realizing it. I felt like I needed more because I didn’t have what they had, I felt like I had to work double hard to make extra money to afford things the Instagram models shared on their feeds.
So instead of continuing a toxic habit, because it’s “normal,” I cut it all out. I finally said enough. NO, I will not sit in bed and compare myself to photoshopped girls on social media, I AM FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. NO, I will not chat with people online, I WILL CONNECT IN PERSON AND USE MY WORDS. I will smile at my own beautiful chaos in the REAL WORLD. I will live life without feeling the need to share my every move, and those who genuinely want to know can come to get coffee with me, they can stop by my store and visit me, they can come to my house and get to know me. Instead of appearing like an open person on social media, I have decided I WILL be an open person in real life. My actions will match the person I tried to portray myself as on my feed.
The life people create on Facebook and Instagram is not real. They try to put their best versions out there, but that’s not who they are, that’s not how they feel. If you place an Instagram influencer in a room full of real people,
#1 They probably won’t know how to connect.
#2 If they do connect it’s going to be with someone who has the right looks for selfies, they won’t actually share any spiritual connection.
#3 It is incredibly awkward not to know how to talk to people, and to only focus on an app.
I encourage people to take breaks from their toxic habits, be willing to change, take risks even if something small seems scary. Make an active choice and stick with it. I have more time on my hands, this doesn’t mean I can’t take pictures, it just means I finally have time to get my images printed and create a fantastic photo album. It doesn’t mean I can’t blog, it means I have to spread the news about my blog by talking to others in real life, it doesn’t mean I can’t get to know someone, it means I get to know someone for who they are in person. Instead of looking at all the reasons why you can’t, look at all the ways it can be good for you.
Lastly make sure whatever choice you choose, whatever habit you make or break, it’s one that will help you realize you’re worth everything the universe gives you, helps you realize that you are a fantastic individual, and helps you live your own real life. Make sure the choices your make help you move toward the person you are meant to be.